I am currently reading, well listening to the book, Delivering Happiness. In the book the author, Tony Hsieh, http://www.amazon.com/Delivering-Happiness-Profits-Passion-Purpose/dp/0446563048/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1280978540&sr=1-1. he references another book I have read called Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Flow-Psychology-Engagement-Masterminds/dp/0465024114/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1280979393&sr=1-1.
Flow is the state when things just seem to go on autopilot. The book stated at one point that people with lots of siblings tend to achieve the state more easily. Kind of interesting that with all my sisters and no brothers the times I have really felt flow were when I got thrown into teaching a water fitness course and really was received well, being that it is a female populated class mainly. It was easy, felt like a good workout and was such a good ego boost. The author of delivering happiness said that once he got his business going well it was really a matter of following a couple of simple rules and everything seemed to fall into place. Speaking of which, I promise the relationship aspect of this will fall into place eventually, keep reading. 
How does that work socially? For example, tonight I was invited by friends to see a movie and I thought. On one hand it may do me some good to be more social and do some good for our friend group to show that I enjoy them, which I do. On the other hand. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on, laundry, and I want to do a few things I thought of today driving between patients and listening to his book and his thought on building culture as an integral part of his business. He built his previous business from friends and once he hired outside his friends it lost the fun feeling and he sold the company and quit. I did not go to the movie and then felt awkward about it and it seemed weird when my roommate and friend got back.
That is the thing maybe. Somehow, these Taiwanese web millionaires like Tony, make their jobs their lives and find a way to stay passionate about it or move on. At least the successful Taiwanese business woman I dated and this guy. This blog site might work this way for me because fI actually do think about this stuff all the time when I am driving, in the shower, etc. That passion may be the secret ingredient?
Well, in respect to relationships, flow is most likely happening when the working of the marriage is so seamless they don’t really think about it much. It just happens and people are lucky. That is what struck me in his book today that made me think of relationships. He was talking about finding flow in his new website Zappos.com. The fact that when flow happens it becomes effortless and just goes of its own inertia is captivating. So what about Oklahoma’s relationship culture makes wedding vows such a hard goal to achieve where as the flow of culture in Massachusetts is less so? Is it that in the bigger cities you really don’t have time to stop and look around and the cute skirts walking by and still pay the expensive rent? What variables are common denominators in flow in marriage. That is really what this site is about.
How do you know when to stop and go to the movies with your friends or family or when it is more important to do the daily tasks bugging you in the back of your mind? I know that they could wait but how long? Having to have this kind of thinking is what flow is not. As Tony put it in his book as I listened today, when he quit with Oracle he did not know what he would do and he was where I am now in a lot of ways. At least he knew what he did not want which was the job at Oracle and look what he has accomplished by acting on that premise. Friggin brilliant! Started a start up and sold it for over $200 million. P.S. This is not pertaining to my job in this sense and is about relationships. It is about growing up in Oklahoma, seeing my immediate and extended family miserable with each other and wanting to be apart and the confusion and chaos that it was. I have seen what the lack of relationship flow looks like and definitely know what I don’t want.
Now to feel out what I do want. What makes you happy? I guess when I find flow in my relationships I will not need this blog and someone else will need to do it? Comments?
